I feel like a woman between worlds.
- 3 weeks of being unplugged to cell, internet, or technology in any way (after my purse was stolen while traveling)
- 2 two weeks back home in LA from Guatemala and Colombia
- 1 week with a new replacement phone and laptop
The day after I got my new phone and laptop I caught a cold…that has lingered all week.
Hmmmmm…what could this be about?
While journaling I asked myself, “Why did I get this cold?“
The answer that blazed itself across the pages of my journal was this:
“As much as it was traumatic and dramatic getting when your purse stolen with all your important ‘stuff’ in it, once you accepted it, you dropped into a deep place of acquiescence…the ‘peace that passes human understanding’…a deeper ease than you’d felt in a long while.
You were shown a secret exit from the Matrix…and you went through that door.
On the other side of that exit is a world of wonder, splendor, beauty, presence, connectivity–the real kind that happens when you move slow through your world and really SEE what and who is in front of you.
If I could crystalize the feeling tone of being outside of the Matrix in a single word it would simply be:
If I could crystalize the feeling tone of being inside the Matrix into two words it would simply be:
This is what the Buddhists refer to as the difference between “Samsara” (the world of suffering) versus “The Pure Lands” (heaven on earth).
Both of these realities run parallel to one another, and you dip in and out of them imperceptibly throughout the day. In fact, you might stop to notice which state you are in at this very moment.
You may not be able to see the difference between these states with the naked eye, but you sure can feeeeeeeeeel it when you walk into their conditioning fields.
One evokes a sense of peace, grace, and ease, like fine dining, with candle light, overlooking the Sein River in Paris…
While the other evokes a chaos, a dissonance, an insatiable hunger like an all you can eat buffet, but you only have 1 minute to fill your pate and stuff your face.
You manifested getting sick because you’re afraid now that you have all your ‘stuff’ back (with the exception of documents, partial blogs and partial books written over the past year that you thought were backed up, but were not) you will dive back into busyness, hurry, flurry, scurry, blurry and eat at the all you can eat NOT ENOUGH-NESS buffet once again.
You’ve caught this cold to keep you in slow motion because (on behalf of everyone in your life)…
We like you better when you move slower…
We like you better when you’re more present to human interactions than to virtual ones…
We like you better when you are in your skin, when you are where you’re at, not in a hurry thinking you should be somewhere else with a foaming case of FOMO (fear of missing out).
When you can keep a foothold (or at least a toe hold) in the land of ‘Enough’ and not fall prey to the world of ‘Not Enough’…
When you can have hundreds of unread emails and Facebook messages and not feel stressed out…
When you can have more projects and creative ideas to produce than one could ever manifest in ten lifetimes and not feel behind the 8 ball…
When you can be in LA traffic and not feel your pulse race because you think you should be moving faster than 1 mile per hour…
When you look around and see people who are more successful than you are and not feel less than…
If you can do all this, then maybe you’ll be released from the grip of this cold (funny…the word for cold in Spanish is “Grip-a”).”
Ok, so maybe this cold has a hold on me to buy more time to live long enough in the consciousness of ENOUGH so that it gets imprinted beyond just being a page in my diary…but a reality to come home to and create from more often than not.
If it’s my dream (and hey, it is) then instead of being a woman in a tug-o-war between worlds, I choose to be a woman who wakes up and realizes that she has the world on a string…or at least both worlds in the palm of her hands, and she can be in the world of “stuff” without being of it (stuffed). And for now, that’s ENOUGH for me.
Ahhh…I feel the cold slowly loosening its grip.
What do you do to exit the Matrix and remind yourself you are enough?